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Oh boy, buckle up, folks! New Jersey has turned into the new “Jersey Shore” but instead of Snooki and The Situation, we’ve got Luigi Maniscalco and his fleet of SUV-sized drones! That’s right, we’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill, “I got this at Best Buy for my nephew’s birthday” kind of drone. No, no, these are the kind that could probably carry your entire family on a Sunday drive to the Jersey shore for some boardwalk pizza.
Picture this: Luigi Maniscalco, with his hair slicked back like he’s about to star in the next “Godfather” spin-off, decides one day, “Hey, why not make drones as big as SUVs?” Because, let’s be honest, if you’re going to invade someone’s personal space, might as well do it with style and size, right?
Now, imagine the scene in Jersey – the sky’s not just falling; it’s lumbering. Neighbors are looking up from their morning bagels, thinking, “Did my coffee kick in too hard, or is that a drone the size of my minivan?” And let me tell you, the radical left in Jersey, who usually have their pitchforks ready for any corporate or conservative misstep, are about to lose their collective minds.
These drones are flying around like they own the place, buzzing over neighborhoods, possibly disrupting the delicate art of arguing over parking spots or calling dibs on spots with lawn chairs in winter. And the left? They’re so mad, they’re forgetting their own talking points. They’re out there, waving their fists at the sky, yelling about the environment, privacy, and capitalism all at once. It’s like watching a comedy routine where the punchline keeps getting bigger, literally.
You can hear them now, “This is an outrage! Drones the size of SUVs? This is clearly a capitalist plot to surveil us while we’re just trying to enjoy our organic, gluten-free, locally-sourced pizza!” Meanwhile, Luigi’s probably somewhere, laughing, saying, “Eh, what can I say? I make drones, not policy.”
But let’s not forget the FBI, who are probably scratching their heads, wondering if they need to requisition a helicopter just to chase these things down. And the FAA? They’re just trying to figure out if these count as aircraft or oversized toys.
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