Sure, everything is more expensive than you think it should be, but if a pound of skittles didn’t cost the same amount as two months rent, how else would the Candy Store Owner afford his mega yacht and private jet? But don’t get too stressed thinking about cavities, you’re here to have fun. So get lost at the chocolate display that is like the entertainment we see on tv. Some dark, some too sugary sweet. Or spend some time picking out an oversized gummy bear, which is like a life partner that you’ll enjoy for many years…until you get tired of one day and throw away.
And in the back of the big candy store we call home is a great wall of assorted jelly beans. Which are kinda of like the different religions on Earth. You may not care for Jelly beans, but around 5.8 billion people do (Pew 2012). There are many different flavors to try. You can pop in a “Very Cherry” and realize that’s’ the perfect fit for you. Or you can try the popcorn flavor, not like the taste, and decide to crusade anyone who does. Unfortunately, the candy store has a very violent past when it comes to the different flavors of jelly beans. In fact, 121 wars have been fought over jelly bean preferences which would make one think that the battle of bean supremacy would be a leading cause of fear, anger and sadness in global populations.
What do you and a small 1st Century Roman Child have in common? That’s right, you were both told the tale of the lost city of Atlantis and got caught up in its mystery and wonder. But what’s the biggest difference between you and a small 1st Century Roman Child? First, better teeth. Second, you will soon discover answers to Atlantis, while the small roman child died fighting a lion in front of all their friends and family, never knowing the truth about Plato’s mysterious island.
In Plato’s Dialogues “Timaeus” and “Critias” the Greek Philosopher shares the story of Atlantis, an ancient Utopian civilization founded by half Gods and half humans. An advanced civilization of connected islands and great military power, with cities of gold, silver, rarities, and exotic wildlife. Lost at sea for thousands of years, Atlantis is a myth coated in truth and treasures that many seek. While many have failed in the past, new technology has hooked more information on the lost world and researchers believe they have found where the lost city once was and insight into the ancient civilization that escaped its untimely demise. How the Atlantians became advanced may be uncertain, but evidence suggests that if Plato’s Island went by another name, the descendants of a once advanced society live among us today.
So strap on a life vest and set sail for Atlantis. If you don’t have a life vest by your side, you can use a pillow or a fat dog that looks like it can float. On our journey, we’ll find facts in the once perceived fiction or discover that Plato is history’s Greatest Prankster. I mean convincing everyone for thousands of years that there was an underwater ancient world of wonder would be a pretty good prank. Ashton Kutcher could never. Along our trek, if you meet a fish person, please remember to wash your hands afterward. They are dripping with salmonella.
Hello, you have entered the fourth stage of your sleep cycle. Though it may seem like you’ve only been asleep for a second, you’ve been transiting into a deeper stage of sleep for the last 90 minutes. The moment you fell asleep, the ventrolateral preoptic nucleus in the hypothalamus and the parafacial zone in the brain stem began slowing your brain waves and relaxing your muscles. When these cells become active, it triggers a loss of consciousness as you move through the four stages of sleep. You are now in the Rapid Eye Movement stage, or REM Sleep. Your muscles are now paralyzed and you will begin reenergizing your body’s cells, clear waste from your brain, strengthen memory, regulate mood, appetite, libeto, and also dream. You may now select the dream you wish to experience.
Professional Poster Model Albert Einstein first predicted the existence of black holes in 1916 with his general theory of relativity. However, due to their appetite for light, black holes were a struggle for astronomers to find in the midst of all the shining and glittery objects that make up the night sky. This changed and Einstein’s prediction became fact when the first black hole was discovered in 1964 when astronomers used X-rays to spot a bright blue star in the Milky Way orbiting a strange dark object, with materials being stripped away and gobbled up by said mysterious object. Since then, NASA has estimated that there are 100 million black holes in the Milky Way with 40 quintillions around the corner, populating the observable universe. The closest black hole to Earth, dubbed The Unicorn, is approximately 1,500 light years away. So if you’re ever out taking a stroll 1,500 light-years away, remember to stay sharp and bring a strainer, because you could be stuck there for a while.
So we know Black Holes are there and what they do, but what exactly are they? Did they start as little black hole babies, sucking on stars like a pacifier? Of course not! That would be silly and the actual answer is far less adorable to imagine. Black Holes are born from the death of stars more massive than the sun. “When a star runs out of the nuclear fuel that makes them shine, their core collapses into black holes under their own gravity.” Black holes can also come to
be from the collision of neutron stars and grow from stripping away the material of these stars. We could use the baby imagery for this process, but thinking about it gets morbid rather quickly.
Not all Black Holes are the same. The family tree consists of four types. Stellar Mass Black Holes are the most common in the universe. Miniature black holes are similar to Stellar Masses but have room to grow and Intermediate Holes are bigger than Stellar masses but still mostly a mystery to scientists as we’ve seen very few. Then there are the behemoths of the Universe, the Super Massive Black Holes. In Einstein’s general theory of relativity, it’s predicted that Super Massive Black Holes can have masses equal to billions of suns, and likely lurk in the center of most galaxies. It is still unknown how exactly Super Massive Black Holes are formed as they are far too massive to be formed to be born from a single, however, scientists can study one in our own backyard after the discovery of Sagittarius A* in the center of our galaxy in the early 2000s. Now that we have a firm understanding of black holes and how they’re the best slurpers in the Universe, it’s time to ask ourselves….
Since the 1950s, UFOs have invaded our late-night thoughts and our pop culture. Or if your this guy, your crops… and that’s a major problem because it’s harvest time and if a third of your corn is covered in saucer skid marks and you’re not able to bring the best bushels to the Kansas State Fair, then there’s no stopping the bank from taking the farm this time. UFOs or Unidentified Flying Objects orrrr UAPs, Unidentified Aerial Phenomena as they’re now classified, have been written and spoken about since ancient times. However, an increase in reported sightings has people wondering……what the is going on. I mean how are you supposed to enjoy a day off work, curled up on the couch drinking a hot cup of cocoa when you know that you might have to go to war with ET any second?
Side Note: If you ever find yourself in hand-to-hand combat with an ET…. got for the limpy neck. Toss some pocket sand in its big creepy eyes and then a swift karate chop to the throat should do the trick. Next thing you know it’s phone-homing on the floor and you’ve been crowned Hero of Earth. You’ll have a new global holiday designated in your honor and finally, your parents will love you more than your over-achieving older sibling.
They may have not been piloted by a bloated naked orangutan but in recent years two UFO sightings have brought the farmer phenomena into the global spotlight. The first didn’t take place on Earth…but it did take place in our Solar System, which is far too close for comfort. It would be like if Pluto started dabbling with Nuclear Volcanos….probably nothing to worry about, but we’d appreciate it if that stuff happened in the neighborhood next over. In 2017, the University of Hawaii’s Pan-STARRS1 telescope discovered a 400-meter rocky, cigar-shaped object with a reddish hue wandering our solar system unattached to any star system (NASA). Scientists named it ‘Oumuamua’ which is Hawaiian for “a messenger from afar arriving first.” Oumuamua is the first confirmed interstellar object to visit our solar system. It was first classified as an asteroid but after it was reported to be traveling past the sun at an astonishing speed of 196,000 miles per hour, over 3 times faster than the average speed of an asteroid, scientists have given up that theory and are now wondering what it was and how it got here. Some say it’s still moving around our galaxy this very day…and by some we mean NASA and by say, we mean confirmed that it’s currently cruising around Neptune and Uranus.